You let me focus on work ALL DAY. While I was in meetings, you cleaned up our home. While I worked on my logo, you made dinner. Every time I said something about doing something to help, you reminded me you has it all under control.
It means more to me than I have the words for how deeply appreciate you. With you, I am safe, provided for, nurtured, and loved. I accidentally touched a stranger today and now, between that and the article that came across my email, I'm paranoid I might come down with COVID. And I keep thinking about how we have so much more life to live together. We haven't had nearly enough time together. There may never be enough time together, so today I am just typing out a quick thank you. You are my home and my adventure.
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Here, right now, on a Saturday morning with no one in a rush to go anywhere or do anything. Sun shining in, under comfy covers. one arm around you, the other petting the dog.
This is heaven. I forgot about this blog until I went to start a different one yesterday. So of course me being me, I mentioned I had started a secret blog to you. You didn't know what that meant, so I sent a screenshot, clearly showing my hand in ways I tend to with you.
And this morning you tell me about how you liked your dad's neighborhood during your COVID walk this morning and hope we find something similarly diverse and friendly. And that's hella romantic to me because #building. I have loved Christmas for as long as I can remember. Just now, I was looking at holiday air fresheners and I found myself getting SO excited about this holiday season. It occured to me that it has a lot to do with it being our first Christmas as a family with me, you, and Enzo.
I can't wait for this holiday season. I had an amazing day yesterday in a city you love even more than I do and I couldn't wait to tell you about it. Damned if you didn't make it even better by hearing the hype in my voice and getting right there with me. It was the light, excited joking tone that reminded me of when we first started dating. Thinking about it as I tried to fall asleep, it occured to me that it probably meant you were also excited about the start of our relationship.
That made me wish you were here even more, enjoying this city with me. Not all of our adventures will be together, but that doesn't mean we can't share in each other's joy. Knowing that just makes me that much more thankful for you, our relationship, and our life together. I can't wait to get back to you and the dog. And all of our future adventures. Im always kind of sad when I see that you slept on the couch because my preference is always to be as close to you as possible.
This might explain why the dog's always sneaking up the bed while we sleep to cuddle up between us... Yep, this is why we dogpile on you. This is hella cheesy. It may not last long (ooh, squirrel!), but I figure its worth trying.
My idea is that I'll slowly write these in the moments when the mood strikes. You know, those times between post-its and cards stuck in your bag. I don't know why, but I feel compelled to document all the little nooks and crannies of our love story. It is my favorite, after all. Part of me wonders if one day, when I'm gone, you'll find solace in how deeply and completely I love you. It's in the way you pulled me closer this morning when I went back to bed. Its in the way you make my life easier and yet want to make me work harder to be the best version of me. And so many other tiny things that we do without the other seeming to notice that just makes it an increasingly deeper love with each laughing fit and gloomy day and worry and smile. |
If we lived forever......I'd still wish I met you sooner so I could love you longer. Archives
August 2020
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