Listening to the woman I'm increasingly thinking of as my unofficial mentor, Brené Brown, just now talk about how she went from a girl with a book and a blog to the CEO and president of things at a dizzying speed was really affirming in terms of thinking about the things I want to accomplish, the masterminding my partner and I have been doing for much of this pandemic (really, the majority of our relationship), and the fear of daydreams making me ungrateful for all I have achieved. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'll be on that level or even that I have that as a goal, but things tend to happen so slowly and then all at once. It takes a long time to become an overnight success. I think that's what I was thinking; that as I use the social distancing and lack of distractions that have resulted from this pandemic, I start to think about the next big challenge(s), what I want if so much of the world is open to me.
To be bold, brilliant, and brown is both incredibly exciting and dizzyingly dangerous. I'm working without a net, often have throughout my life, and stopping to look down from heights I've been working toward but hadn't stopped to fully appreciate is a bit of a mind trip. I can do pretty much what I want as Dr. Merino, and don't even really have to limit it to a single thing. I don't just have to be an academic, or just an activist, or just a creative. I can be all of those things. And none of them, and still be myself. AND I'm capable of building my own little empire if I'm just willing to start.
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October 2021
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